Awake

Funny how sometimes you can feel that you're not going to get much sleep when you decide to head to bed. I just had one of those nights. Too many things in life have your attention to be able to sleep, so you try to work through them. Sometimes you suceed, sometimes you just exhaust yourself until you can do nothing but sleep. Then other times you get to the point of exhaustion and someone else needs you, someone small who just needs to be held. Babies sometimes just need to be held, nothing else. They need to know that the people with whom they have been entrusted are those they themselves can trust. It must be hard to be small in the middle of the night and you have had several nap throughout the day so you wake up, it's dark, and everyone else is sleeping. You just need a hug, or a diaper change or a little food, but all you can do is cry, or in my little boy's case, grunt a little. Everything depends on the care of others, and the sad thing is if they don't care there is nothing you can do about it. That is why I am glad that his mother and I care. Some say if you hold you babies too much you will spoil them. How absurd! how can loving your little ones spoil them? They are small, and life is simple now, but what happens when they are not so small, and things are not so simple? Why should we send the message to our children that if they need someone, well too bad you have to deal with your own stuff on your own... All that does is create more sleepless nights, where they sit awake trying to work through things, until they themselves are too tired, or their own babies are crying...